The Vatican Observer
January 1515

Court Companionship

It seems that very few of the men of Roma were listening to me last month when I explained that to get ahead in this world, one needs to find the right companion. Indeed, so far as I can tell, only one man actually put into practice what he read. Was he the only reader? I certainly hope not, but the evidence points in that direction.

Umberto Tarentella is clearly a man who wants to better his station and I believe it would serve many other residents of Roma to observe his rise. Not one to be content with what might be handed to him, Umberto chose to reach high. After much careful research (a couple of weeks and no few ducats), the young man was seen frequenting the book and scroll shops in the better markets of town. A number of rare and costly items came into his possession. With these in hand, he set out during the third week of the month and approached the well-educated and placed Chiara. She was quite delighted with his gifts and the two spent a very pleasant afternoon and evening discussing the finer points in detail.

Clearly, this young man read and understood my words and took them to heart. If anyone else is reading these words, I implore you to take my advice and follow the example of Signore Tarentella. If you do, I believe that you shall go far.

Festivities at The Viminal

Miei amici, The Viminal was the gathering place of the cognoscenti of Roma this month, with both gatherings hosted there.

At the start of the month, Andrea del Carnevale and his companion Lusanna proved turnabout most fair and entertained their host and hostess from December, in the same venue. In addition to Alberto di Miteli and Sandra, a goodly number of Roma Rising attended: Bartolomeo Gagliardi and Elena, Dante Malatesta, Damiano Octavio Nero d'Alba, Jacopo Finelli, Lucio Malvezzo and Anna, Valentino Clementi, and Vito Erasmo Guilgliondo.

The viands were as one would expect from so fine a site. The toasts were merry, although not excessive: As Captain d'Alba commented, no one surrendered to Major Musto per Vino.

One consequence of the evening's festivities is that we can expect to see Signori di Miteli and Padre Gagliardi putting forth their several opinions in the names of their respective factions in the very near future.

In week the third, Alberto di Miteli reprised his party of the last month, this time with Sandra. One detects a certain symmetry in that Andrea del Carnevale and Lusanna arrived, along with Arturo Negri and Ginevra, Bartolomeo Gagliardi and Elena, the eminent Baldessare Zamboni and Maria, Dante Malatesta, Damiano Octavio Nero d'Alba, Stefano Zanetti and Margherita, and, once again, Vito Erasmo Guilgliondo.

Buoyed up by a fine vintage, Andrea del Carnevale initiated a game of charades. Fortunately, his talent was not so diminished by drink as to render his attempts unrecognisable.

Meanwhile Ginevra exchanged news of the court with Maria. Better she had turned her fair eye upon Deacon Negri, for his imitations of his former Chigi brothers were less than politic.

Not surprisingly, Signori di Miteli and Padre Gagliardi engaged in a most spirited exchange. It is rumoured if the mockery of the Borgia and Ludovisi traditions continues by this pair, their respective Bishops may intervene. Should there be any truth in the rumour, then February's Deliberations on the Steps will doubtless be a most interesting affair indeed.

Your correspondent begs those responsible for arranging the culinary affairs of their betters to inform him, so that report can be made, in future. Finito.

Debates

Gentle readers, it is my delight and privilege this month to bring you news of an array of wit and amusing anecdote as would liven the palate of the most jaded of rhetorical aesthetes.

All the fine debates I shall shortly lay before you arose by reason of the factional disputes which are so rife in Roman life. Though some may decry the division and rancour which petty factional allegiances may give rise to, none can deny that they provide great diversion to students of the oratorical arts such as myself.

First to meet this month past were friends and regular debaters Major di Mitelli and Padre Gagliardi, both of whom seemed of good cheer and filled with anticipation for the coming debate. Meeting at the fountain of Alessandro the Righteous, the subject chosen was as to the spiritual merits of money lending, with Padre Gagliardi arguing that the practice was capable of being conducted in a fashion that was not contrary to our Lord's teachings. The good Padre opened by restating the question, asking whether it could be said that money lending was to be always condemned given that the Pope's own family indulged in it. Looking aghast at his friend's argument, which in certain circles could be seen as close to blasphemous in suggesting that the Pope himself came from a line of usurers, the Major proposed by way of counter that one must distinguish between money lending and banking, the one being reprehensible while the other was simply good business. It seems this remark brought Padre Gagliardi back to his senses, paling as he realised the implications of his argument he swiftly conceded to the Major and afterwards was heard to thank him for his good sense in allowing an early end to the debate.

Still shaken, Padre Gagliardi turned next to speak with Deacon Blatti, a man who like Major di Mitelli is allied to the Ludovisi faction. Their chosen topic was whether the human soul resides in the hearts of heathens before they are brought within the faith. Deacon Blatti opened, by opining that it did not and that it was acceptance of His word that allowed grace to fill them and make them whole. Those present were most impressed by this pious position, with gentle applause rippling amongst the spectators gathered around the fountain. Padre Gagliardi countered with a witticism to the effect that if heathens were without souls it could be said that they were akin to the beasts of the field, and yet he had never yet met a heathen who was one half so useful as a plump hen or fattened lamb ready for the pot. As the assembled listeners applauded this witticism, the Padre returned with a more serious point stating that if men did not have souls before hearing the true word then there would be no imperative to save them, as before the saving there would be nothing in need. Rather, argued the Padre, it was the fact that they had souls but were clothed in darkness which compelled every good Christian to bring light into their heathen hearts. Deacon Blatti was clearly moved by these words, and conceded that the Padre had the right of it.

Across Rome, meeting in a tavern sitting opposite the Pantheon, Captain d'Alba of the Farnese met with Deacons Odetti and Penaccini of the Sforza. The first debate opened with Deacon Odetti making an impassioned oration on the subject of whether mercy could ever be a vice in that forgiving the sinner might lead to renewed sinning. As the Deacon continued in this vein, building a solid framework of argument from which it looked no escape would be possible, the Captain murmured in an aside to the crowd parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus, quoting Horace to the amusement of all. Although this aside was thought most witty, it was also felt to be somewhat not to the point and so matters continued. Deacon Odetti attempted to return to his theme, setting out once more the core elements of his argument. Alas, just as he reached afresh the nub of his point the Captain voiced another witticism to the crowd commenting that claude iam rivos, puer; sat prata biberunt. As laughter built up once more the Deacon realised that his argument was too involved for those assembled and chose, perhaps wisely, to concede the debate. Whether the Captain had any thoughts on the topic at hand remained sadly unclear, however, for the benefit of those of our readers who's Latin is not of the finest the two quotes can be transcribed as "the mountain bursts asunder, and a small mouse is born" and "shut the water gates boy, the meadows have drunk their fill", being of course quotes by the esteemed Horace and Virgil respectively.

Captain d'Alba next turned to Deacon Penaccini, and continuing to cite the masters of debate again quoted Virgil stating that vis consili expers mole ruit sua, strength without wisdom is its own ruin. In this the Captain was of course satirising his former opponent Deacon Odetti and indicating that he planned to heap similar ridicule upon Deacon Penaccini. Reddening at this insult to his brother in service Deacon Penaccini proposed that it was a poor debater who had no words of his own but only the wisdom of others with which to face his betters, and then queried whether the Captain went into battle with borrowed swords in same manner as he entered debate with borrowed words. Now it was the Captain's turn to feel his face redden as the fickle crowd turned against him and cheered the Deacon's rebuttal. A mixed day for the Captain and the Sforza both then, with each side scoring a victory and suffering some small humiliation.

Also present at this display was Canon de Gregori of the Farnese, who also had cause for debate with both the Sforza deacons. As Captain d’Alba engaged Deacon Penaccini, Canon de Gregori met with the just defeated Deacon Odetti. The Canon opened matters by proposing that a cleric without the art of brevity was as a soldier without shot, productive of much sound and light but of little actual danger to those opposed. Deacon Odetti, already discommoded by his failures with Captain d’Alba, was seen to look about himself at those gathered to heed his reply and plainly took the view that his audience was not of sufficient quality to be worth his remarks. Stiffly he conceded the day and departed, leaving Canon de Gregori the victor.

Flushed with this small success, the Canon then turned to Deacon Penaccini who was concluding his debate against Captain d’Alba. The Deacon also was flush with success, and swiftly proposed to the Canon that a cleric who relied on rhetoric over argument was as a horse without a rider, powerful in its way and yet wholly without guiding reason. Canon de Gregori was plainly flustered by this barb, albeit briefly, and certainly those attending considered it well placed. Recovering swiftly, the Canon countered by jesting that if he was a horse without a rider then Deacon Penaccini was a sailor without a boat, floundering desperately in waters that were far too deep for him. Laughter rang out at this sharp response, so swiftly prepared and executed, and it was conceded that both men had now drawn metaphorical blood with their sharp edged remarks. Pressing his advantage, Canon de Gregori went on in more serious vein to correct Deacon Penaccini by noting that the wise cleric depended on rhetoric or argument or any other tool that might win the doubting soul and that to discard any weapon was to throw away that which might win the day against the faithless foe. Through this display of pious sentiment added to ready wit all held that Canon de Gregori had bested the Sforza Deacon and shown himself master of the day.

And yet, not all was over. For as the motley gathering went outside they discovered that the departed Deacon Odetti had encountered no less than another Farnese in the Piazza without, Padre di Vitelli. The two men had fallen into further argument, cause lying between them on factional ground also, and were hotly debating the question of whether it was seemly for a cleric to be seen in a place of public drunkenness. Deacon Odetti, already in disordered mind, struggled to note that he had hardly been alone and that indeed much of Rome's clergy had been with him in attendance, and it was only good fortune that led to Padre di Vitelli's proposal, that Deacon Odetti publicly repent his misdeed, being lost amid the hubbub of the crowd. The Padre's next jibe, however, was not lost, as he wittily observed that a drunken priest was like a dancing dog, an amusing sight but of no use to either man nor dog. Though the Deacon in fact was not drunk, many listening were and the laughter which ensued rendered fruitless his attempts to restate his position. Vanquished for the third time that day, without once being able to volunteer a reasoned argument, the Deacon retired to his apartments with a much battered reputation.

Deacon Penaccini, incensed at this treatment of his good ally, strove to correct matters by continuing Deacon Odetti's defence in his absence. Sadly, the by now rowdy attendant multitude made his task difficult and it was evident that their was no appetite that day for careful rebuttals or reasoned responses. Gauging well the mood of the mob, Padre di Vitelli noted dryly that it was a veritable gaggle of Sforza deacons leaving the wine houses this day and that like geese their words were discordant to the ear and carried little sense. Sensing that the crowd now was with the Padre no matter what else might be said, Deacon Penaccini wisely chose to withdraw and cede the square.

A varied menu then of drollery and eloquence, can next month hope to compete in like vein? If so know that I, your humble scribe, will be there to report on it and bring you news of this most noble of contests, the contest of wit.

Movers and Shakers

As is usual in the Vatican, men, some established and others unknown, sought to gain positions. In many cases the petition is to improve their standing within their Faction, in others it is the initial step to enter service.

Deacon Zamboni, once again placed his name for consideration as Secretary to Giulio de Medici, and once again was refused. This position may, possibly remain unfilled until the usual time for the appointment.

Canon de Gregori was informed that the position of Adviser to the Delegation Leader was not filled, and that he would be allowed to reapply. This he did, but the result was the same as last month, and a man with more seniority would be considered more appropriate. Often hierarchy overlooks merit in favour of familial relations and seniority. The Canon has taken the majority of the Farnese Faction to Burgos, possibly to prove that he is entirely capable of executing any task and thus occupying any position, regardless of the length of service.

One can not help but admire the political acumen of now Padre U. Blatti. He called for the resignation of Canon En Phive successfully, and gained the position of Padre by purchase. It appears that the good Padre does have ambitions to occupy the position of Canon in the Ludovisi Faction at the earliest possible time.

In more conventional appointments D. Malatesta was made Deacon in the Doria-Pamfili, and J. Finelli was also accepted by the same Faction. It appears that the Faction is making efforts to expand its influence and reconstitute itself. As such, Deacon Malatesta's celebratory purchase of a fine sable-lined robe can only garner good publicity for his Faction.

Signor V. Clementi was rejected by the Borgia, for reasons that are not obvious whatsoever.

Signor U. Tarentella was accepted as deacon in the Gonzaga Faction most readily. The Faction is known to desire new members and regain some of its former prestige and influence.

The Swiss Guards accepted the application of Signor V.E. Guilgliondo as a private, as of this publication it is not known if the gentleman has aligned himself with any Faction.

Men of the Cloth / Men of Steel

The Mission to the Court of Castile has revealed some conditions not understood by the Vatican in their entirety. As alluded to previously, the Kingdom is ruled by a Council of Regency until King Carlos V reaches maturity, the Council, however is controlled entirely by Cardinal Jimenez. It is the Cardinal who is the de facto ruler of Castile, and while this would appear to be a condition most advantageous to His Holiness, in practice Cardinal Jimenez behaves as he wishes, and recognizes Papal authority only when he wishes to do so.

Those members of the Delegation who may have thought that Spain would be a warm and inviting destination have been disabused of this notion. Bugos is in the North of Old Castile, and the severity of the climate is matched by the austerity of the Court. Most of the Flemish artists have been dismissed, and an atmosphere of the most solemn piety is predominant. One may say that even the members of the Papal Missionary Faction have whispered about the conditions.

Before the celebration of Epiphany there was a session of discussions during which the attitude of Cardinal Jimenez became very apparent. Whether Cardinal Tertius had been previously instructed by His Holiness, or if the discernment of Patriarch N. Sextus, a man who have always demonstrated not only great ability but constancy in his support and advice as Assistant Delegation Leader, resulted in the continuing good relations is unknown. However, the hierarchy of the Delegation, including Archbishop N. Seis, Leader of the Second Coalition maintained the cordial relationship that had initially marked the Delegation's arrival. In the opinion of many the objective of the Delegation can not be achieved, King Carlos V is removed from the discussions because he lacks the competence to appreciate the importance of the discussions. Therefore, the Delegation must deal with Cardinal Jimenez, a man who is both Cardinal and Ruler, and does not tolerate those that question his methods and motivation. Such a task is not as overtly hazardous as last year's Mission to the Court of France, but it does contain risks for those who do not know they are obliged to agree with the Cardinal, and may voice no opinion that differs from His Eminence.

Such was the fate that befell the leader of the Aldobrandini Faction, Bishop N. Due, a man of modest rhetorical ability, and accustomed to the more forgiving discourse of the Vatican. While inquiring about certain practices of Cardinal Jimenez, he found himself confronted by a silent rebuke. Archbishop N. Seis was left with no alternative but to dismiss the Bishop summarily in order to relieve the tension. It is yet unknown where the Bishop will be sent for so minor an offence, but, it is hoped that some charity will be demonstrated.

The remaining members of the Aldobrandini, seeing the fate of their leader understood that even the slightest criticism, or question, could result in dismissal and humiliation behaved accordingly. In other circumstances less accomplished men may have foolishly come to the aid of the Bishop, but Canon N. Cinque spoke only of the remarkable conversions that Cardinal Jimenez had made in Grenada. The dismissal of Bishop N. Due was never mentioned again by any member of the Faction. Padre N. Seeks and Padre N. Trois both adopted the flattering tone of the Canon. Deacon V.G. Magliano tread a careful course between obvious flattery and the appearance of voicing great appreciation for the Cardinal's efforts to rid the larger Kingdoms of Castile and Aragon of Jews, Muslims, and other heretics. For this he was amply rewarded by the Leadership.

The Chigi faction did not fare as well. In part their lack of experience, and the abilities of their members undid some of the less fortunate. Bishop N. Tres speech was lacklustre, but did no harm. Canon En Zwei was summarily dismissed for posing a question regarding the methods Cardinal Jimenez had employed during the latter's tenure as Inquisitor-General. Padre En Drei and Padre N. Six, seeing the folly of questioning any actions the Cardinal may have taken demurred from the subject and spoke only of what may be done in the future. The same cannot be said of Deacon En One, who in his innocence and inexperience made the grave error of actually inquiring as to what the methods had been. He will be joining Canon En Zwei on the journey to the Vatican to be reassigned.

In addition to the composition of the original Delegation, Canon de Gregori arrived with the first and second Chapters of the Farnese Faction. After being appraised of the situation and the objectives of the Delegation the Farnese performed in their particularly admirable manner. Canon de Gregori is well known to be a man of uncommon ability, and perhaps more importantly, great adaptability. He was favourably mentioned in the formal report of Cardinal Tertius. The same is true of Padre di Vitelli, who was also very favourably recommended in reports. Padre N. Three, new to the faction, did not fare as well, for he did not understand that one does not engage in debate when there is no room for debate. Sub-deacon della Croce wisely refrained form any statements which would jeopardize his position within the Faction.

Also present was Padre U. Blatti of the Ludovisi, the sole representative of his Faction at this time. Most wisely he followed the direction of the Delegation Leadership and was favourably mentioned in reports.

The members of the Missionary Faction continued to demonstrate the deliberate and measured approached that has served them so well for several months. Knowing that prospects in Iberia do not exist for the Faction, the discussion of possibly allowing the Faction to accompany expeditions to New Spain, and other expeditions was deemed the most appropriate subject by Bishop N. Quarto. The Faction is very desirous of being involved in such work, and did not wish to squander the opportunity of cultivating the most favourable relationship.

The Faction did succeed in creating a most favourable impression upon Cardinal Jimenez. All spoke well, and most convincingly about the need for sending men qualified to spread the Gospel to the Heathen. The lay cleric, V. dei Gambetti, was again most effective. The Missionary Faction's practice of including those not ordained, has proved to be most wise. There is something most effective when a common man voices the position of the Faction. Yet, Signor dei Gambetti has proved he is not a common man, being most eloquent and ardent in his presentation, while preserving the veneer of humble origins. He has also won the appreciation of the Missionary Faction, who prevailed upon Cardinal Tertius to mention him most favourably in reports to the Vatican, and grant him a substantial reward for a man of his station.

As always behind all the obvious diplomacy the Papal Scholars worked researching the attitudes of the Court, and compiling the best information available in order for the Delegation to function and respond accordingly to the political situation that underlies every mission. The Scholars, under the direction of Bishop N. Sixieme, have been diligent in their responsibilities. The sole exception to this dedication being the dismissal of Deacon N. Quarto, who was discovered quite intoxicated, and in the most compromising position, quite unfit for a member of the clergy.

Happily, the continual exceptional work of Deacon C. Salieri of the Borgia, has continued to win the admiration of the Papal Scholars. At the insistence of Bishop N. Sixieme the good Deacon was favourably mentioned for his work and amply rewarded for his services.

Around the Markets

Firstly, matters familiar. Andrea del Carnevale, when not hosting his own parties or attending those of others, was to be found at his usual table in the Via del Governo Vecchio. If we are to believe Pasquino, Signor del Carnevale has now spent more on securing that table than it would have taken him to acquire the entire restaurant.

Thence to matters rare. Valentino Clementi continues to celebrate his new-found wealth. Having last month relocated to the Monte Testaccio, he continues to revel in the amenities of Rome. Only last week he was heard to comment that now he lived in the city, he made certain to eat every day - and to take a bath at least once each week. Why, with this heady progress, the man may be wearing silk by August!

And thus to matters foreign. Padre Gagliardi, that well known oenophile and latinist has taken it into his head to master another tongue. More specifically, he has entlisted the tutelage of a young Arab, recently arrived in fair Roma. With treatises upon a Jacob's Ladder and the Astrolabium Leonis already to his credit, one supposes that we may expect to him to produce a treatise inspired by the Arabian mathematical masters in the near future.

Finally, let it not be said that matters mercantile engender none of the higher emotions within our beings. Take the case of Domenico Facente, for example. Why, not long after making his usual donations to Saint Cecilia's and completing his administration studies, he was struck by a fever. At times delirious, it was only following a period of total bed rest and the assiduous cupping regime prescribed by his doctor that he was able to regain a little of his spirits by the month's end. But where was I? Oh yes, matters higher than commerce. On hearing the news, Signor Alvaro, he of the pastries so favoured by Maestro Facente, promptly brought around a selection of the invalid's favourites. Moreover, he would not accept a single Ducat for them. A 'get well gift', if you please.

Court and Social

The Pope will host the following events at the Lateran Palace, Rome
In the first week: Hungarian Envoy
In the fourth week: Grand Court and Revels

Positions Vacant

Councillor for Concord
Oratory Instructor
Administration Instructor
Etiquette Instructor
Art Instructor

Upcoming Debates

AdM v BG (faction rivals)