The Vatican Observer
June 1514

Companionship and Conversation

My friends, one should always remember that the material things of the world will fail. This is especially true, friends, if one attempts to mingle the "sarx" (the fleshly) with the spiritual. I have a sad, pointed example of such for you this month.

This example is the case of Signor Marco Armani, new to the Eternal City. Marco, quite wisely, began his time here seeking the grace of a good, chaste companion to guide him through the maze of the Pope's Court. He chose poorly, however, by attempting to divert the attention of Monica, that noteworthy lady who has been seen of late assisting Deacon Giovanni Speranza at Court. Such may have been simple error, but Marco compounded this error by bringing with him not books of wisdom, nor words of supplication, but a dress. Yes, readers, a dress. A rather pretty dress, certainly, but a bauble, a trifle, a thing of this world nevertheless. Naturally, his attempt was disdained by the sage Monica, who wisely kept the matter quiet.

Now, if Signor Armani were a wiser man, he would have adjusted his approach and pursued a higher course the following week. But he has not disdained all things to pursue first Wisdom, who brings with her all other riches. No, he returned to Monica's door the following week, and, again, not with any desirable item. This time, he attempted to ply her with wine and food, bringing an expensive picnic accompanied by excellent French vintages. There is a reason, friends, that the French are wandering close to hell, friends, and it is certainly an over-fondness of their excellent wine. Recognizing the danger therein, Monica refused again the man's attentions--and this time quite loudly. Deacon Speranza doubtless has heard of the matter by this time, and will be quite displeased.

Now, friends, how could have Signor Armani proceeded from here? Perhaps a change of approach? Be comforted, reader, in seeing that Armani did show better sense by abandoning pursuit of the wise Monica at this stage. He turned, however, his attention to lovely Anna, who has been seen of late in the company of Lucio Malvezzo, a man of some potential at Court. And how did Armani present himself to Anna? As a man in need of guidance, or as a helping hand in the rigorous strain of Court? Oh, no, friends. He appealed to her great weakness--her vanity. Bringing a dazzling pair of shoes, Anna was swept up by the man's charms, and her chastity is no doubt in danger now. The horror, friends, the horror.

Now, knowing that Good will triumph, we will pray that Signor Armani will show restraint and preserve that pristine beauty that Anna possesses without stain. But note, friend, his folly and its price: he now has two good men ready to debate him and perhaps ruin him, all over baubles and poor judgement.

I hope to have more edifying news for you in my next writing. Until then, grace and peace to you.

Discourses

Another month and another match between those tireless proponents of the rhetorical art, Captain di Mitelli of the Swiss Guards and clergyman Deacon Gagliardi. As before, the traditional rivalries of their factions, the Ludovisi and Borgia, led to their being required to meet in debate.

As befits the friendly rivalry these two men enjoy, the topic chosen was not over serious, being an examination of the question of whether the guests at Cana could have appreciated that which they were offered. Deacon Gagliardi opened with a not particularly amusing comment that the quality of wine could not generally be judged by the sensibility of the drinker, Captain di Mitelli riposted by noting that a fine drinker was like a fine wine and one reflected the other. Those assembled considered neither remark especially witty and some were heard to comment that the gentlemen were not performing to their usual standard.

Deacon Gagliardi however, continued to develop his remarks. Returning to his theme that wine did not resemble its drinker as a matter of course, he paused and then went on to note that when at his table it could truly still be said that that the best was saved for last as Captain di Mitelli was routinely the last man to stop drinking. Captain di Mitelli was unable to reply as he became distracted with mirth, though some were heard later to mutter that these boasts of drunken behaviour reflected poorly on both men.

The month saw further representation from the Swiss Guard as Captain Guido Vitale met with Father Vicenzo Zanotti to defend the reputations of their own conflicting factions, the Barberini and Chigi. The two chose to discuss whether in referring to the rich passing through the eye of the needle the Lord was referring to a metaphorical impossibility or a physical difficulty, as it seems many believe the eye to have been an actual place. The encounter was brief and reflected Father Zanotti's greater familiarity with the use of the word as opposed to the sword, for he swiftly opened proceedings with a witty observation that as Captain Vitale was neither pious nor rich the question for him was moot to say the least. Captain Vitale struggled to make himself heard over the resulting laughter and was forced accordingly to concede the debate.

Around the Markets

Whilst many of Rome's finest continue to promote the Pope's suit against the French King, there remain yet a few in Rome to suffer the humidity of the early Summer. Of these, some are required to remain to ensure the Pope's personal safety, whilst others remain to conjour forth delights for His Holiness.

Notable amongst the former is Captain Vitale. I would appear that the good captain has had little time to himself this past month. However, when not in church or at his club, he has been seen making arrangements to shore up his cellar with some fine vintages. Italian ones, of course.

Amongst the latter is, naturally, Signor Facente. Much of the time he spends on his Collegio compositions, for which he has secured a steady supply of vellum, paper, ink, quills, candles and lamp oil. His servant, the faithful Marco, meanwhile ensures that the household is always well stocked with food and wine, particularly the pastries from Alvaro which Signora Claudia is so fond of, and that his master's horses are well stabled, in order that his Signor Facente may concentrate his mind upon matters musical, rather than mundane.

Falling into neither category, however, is Rome's very own rake - Marco Armani. Perhaps a consequence of his humble origins, this individual's goals would appear to be considerably less spiritual than those of his contemporaries. Rather than mirror Signor Facente's generous donations to the church or Captain Vitale's excellent record of attendance at mass, Signor Armani seems far more inclined to spend his time on clothes. And women's clothes at that! Given his tendency to use such garments in his attempts to sway the allegiance of many of the Papal Court's finest salon hosts, we anticipate that it may not be so very long before Signor Armani once again offers his service to a Papal Mission.

Positions Vacant

Secretary to First Delegation Leader
Adviser to Borgia Faction Leader
Keeper of the Papal Purse
Inquisitor
Captain of the Papal Escort
Lieutenant of the Papal Escort

Men of the Cloth

The Papal mission to the Court of France continued, and will continue through the Summer months. The prospect of a resolution acceptable to His Holiness and the King of France appears unattainable if this past month's activities are an indication of the calibre of intellectual discourse occurring between the two principal's representatives.

Cardinal Encinque was able to maintain the status quo which had been achieved with such great effort the previous month. While some in Roma may find this disheartening, the learned Cardinal was poorly served by Patriarch N. Quattor of the Third Alliance. The Patriarch presented himself in such a state that it was obvious to all that he had been drinking heavily. Such self-indulgence and imprudent behaviour has warranted his recall to Roma to face the charge of gross incompetence. The evidence of such charges being so overwhelming it is undoubted that he shall face the most severe penalty.

Archbishop EnSeis of the Third Coalition was affected by this display and could do little more than restate the position of the Pontiff. This had the most disastrous consequences for both the Borgia and Farnese factions.

The Bishop of the Borgia Faction was extremely ill advised by Deacon EnDue, the latter suffering humiliation for his poor recommendations. Only Canon EnQuatro presented a convincing argument. Disappointingly, Deacon Gagliardi could not find his voice. Perhaps the prospect of engaging in so large a forum proved daunting to the young man known for his readiness to engage in debate in Roma.

This was a prelude to the near destruction of the Farnese faction who faced the "Comte Philosopher". An able opponent must be respected, and the French Comte is much more than able, as he is considered the most articulate and intellectually agile counsellor to the King. During the course of the afternoon every member, save two, of the Farnese was humiliated by the Comte's brilliant defence of the King's position. Padre de Gregori managed to hold the floor, but with great effort. He shall assume the leadership of the Farnese until a suitable replacement is sent from the Vatican. The other member of the faction, Deacon Speranza, did heed the advice of the faction's Deacon EnSex. He rebutted the case that the King, although he may possibly have a Divine Right to rule in secular France, was subject to the authority of the Pope in all matters of a religious nature. For this respite Deacon Speranza was elevated to the priesthood and mentioned with the greatest favour by the Cardinal in his communication with the Pope.

The following session Archbishop EnQuinque leader of the Fifth Coalition made a brilliant opening. Expounding upon the proposition used by Deacon Speranza he presented the most cogent dissertation regarding the limitations of temporal power. Sadly, neither the Doria-Pamfili or Gonzaga factions did much to further this line of argument. Such is the rivalry which exists among the factions serving His Holiness that the opportunity to conclude the negotiations successfully was squandered. The members of both factions, having heard and seen the humiliation of both the Borgia and Farnese, risked nothing and won nothing.

The efforts of the Papal Scholars proved satisfactory, Cardinal Encinque knowing the pressure of providing materials for all those attending understood well the hours of work involved. No fault could be found in the research.

The final session was the discourse of the Missionary faction. Perhaps the attitude of the Fifth Coalition infected these dedicated men, for Bishop EnFour performed without vigour and Padres EnSix and N. Fore were humiliated by the Comte and his entourage. Seeing his superiors perform so poorly, Deacon Penacinni did not even rise to speak. The Swiss Guard, A. di Miteli, prepared materials for the Missionary faction, but perhaps a man of action is not best suited for clerical duties.

Yet, the ways of Our Lord are mysterious indeed. The lay cleric, Stefano Zanetti, who has laboured long in France preparing manuscripts and performing those duties beneath the dignity of the prominent Clergy, was moved to respond. Such an occurrence has not been heard of in the past. This humble man began by quoting form the Gospel: "Render unto Caesar" and continued as if the Spirit of the Lord was upon him. This extemporaneous exclamation of faith so moved the French Comte that he removed a ring of great value from his own finger and placed it upon Zanetti's finger. The Comte the declared the negotiations over for the month.

Upon returing to the Mission's lodgings, Cardinal Encinque kissed Zanetti and blessed him for his timely pronoucement. He then ordered that the cleric be given new garments and better quarters, stating that "The last shall be first."

The Collegio Romano and Rome's Intelligentsia

While many eagerly follow the fortunes of the Papal Mission to France, let us not forget that our Sublime Pope is justly renowned for his patronage and support of the Fine Arts. Indeed, the Arts are the myriad of jewels in the crown of Roma's glory.

This past month, the Collegio Romano, that august body whose concern is promulgation and nurture of the Arts and Sciences, admitted two of Roma's recent noteworthy sons into its bosom.

It should be noted that both were admitted by unanimous vote, so impressed were the scholars of the Collegio.

Signor Lucio Malvezzo submitted an excellent and thorough article regarding the newest methods of enamelling and staining glass, including some most impressive uses of techniques that can obviate the need for superfluous leading. Many of the Collegio were struck by the style of Signor Malvezzo's treatise. So learned and didactic was it, it seemed almost as if he had projected himself to a vantage point in time from which he looked back at the nativity of this art and science. One of his phrasings, regarding the technique known as "grisaille", was positively eerie: "--appeared in the first half of the 16th century". As we are but halfway through that half-century, one seems to ascend mentally to a positively lofty mental realm, when one peruses his report upon the French practices. Bene, Signor Malvezzo!

A true pearl of the latest submissions was an Oratio dedicated to none other than Pope Leo himself, by one whose name seems to be becoming a synonym for "music" in Roma: Signor Domenico Facente. Now, those who were uncharitable might imply that an Oratio for His Holiness would hardly be rejected by the Collegio, but think again! What daring, what supreme confidence in his art has moved this man, to submit for the approval or censure of the living representative of Heaven, this piece. However, his confidence was well placed. The sweet simplicity of "Oremus pro Pontifice nostro Leo: Dominus conservet eum, et vivificat eum, et beatum faciat eum in terra" resonates in both the ear and the spirit. Note how the phrases roll out in the timing: con-ser-vet e-um, et vi-vi-fi-cat e-um, et be-a-tum fa-ci-at. Bene, bene, optime, Signor Facente! Submitted in concert with this piece, if one may put it so, was "Oratio ad Sancte Ioseph", also a most pleasing piece, but one which in your correspondent's mind lacks something of the sonorous grandeur of the first. Nonetheless, it is rumoured that the members of the Collegio were most pleased by both pieces.

Upcoming Debates

MA v LM
MA v GS