The Vatican Observer
March 1514

Men of the Cloth

Whilst Rome revels and newly ordained Deacon de Gregori of the Farnese and Subdeacon Gagliardi of the Borgia admire themselves in their new robes, what of the Mission to His Majesty, the King of France?

Faced with a Holy See which has been markedly uncommunicative this month, we have chosen to report only such facts as may be independently verified.

The delegation of the King of France was headed by no less a philosopher than the Comte de Mercurey.

Cardinal Entre has been recalled to Rome and found guilty of gross incompetence. The news of his recall was brought to him by Cardinal Encinque, the new Delegation Leader.

The reason for the Cardinal's recall is that the Cardinal succumbed to a thread of false logic propagated by the Comte de Mercurey, the natural conclusion of which was that he proceeded to implicitly deny the doctrine of original sin.

Having inadvertently professed such heresy, it transpired that the Cardinal lacked the Wit to realise what he had said or the intellect to retrace his steps and identify the deception practised upon him.

Those lacking the connections of Cardinal Entre, and thus unable to avoid the Humiliation inherent in being a part of the Delegation, included Patriarch Endu and Deacon Argenti. Although a great many others shared their fate,we have refrained from broadcasting the full roll-call of the ignominy suffered by the Mission since those other individuals are less familiar to our readership.

The French delegation, themselves appalled by Cardinal Entre's ignorance of the Pelagian Heresy, have already indicated their willingness to adopt a more constructive approach in their negotiations with Cardinal Encinque.

Discourses

We have been fortunate indeed this past month, with a number of most interesting and diverting debates taking place in the salons and streets of Rome. From a discussion of the sin of pride, to an argument as to appropriate behaviour during Carnivale and then an interesting aside on whether the Hebrew slaves crossed the Red Sea as a mass or tribe by tribe.

The first of these most invigorating matches arose between Captain di Mitelli and young Deacon Argenti, currently allied to the Borgia. The gentlemen had fallen into disagreement on the seemingly minor matter of curtains, with Captain di Miteli taking exception to the design of those favoured by the good Deacon. The two gentlemen met at the Aventine club over a small breakfast of cheeses, breads, grapes and wine purchased by Deacon Argenti and agreed in the presence of friends and interested parties to settle their disagreements by way of a consideration of the nature of the sin of pride.

Deacon Argenti opened what promised to be a most illuminating debate by commenting upon the evident pleasure Captain di Mitelli so clearly took in the fine new uniform he was sporting. From this basis the Deacon went on to ridicule what he described as "the pretensions of a man who condemns the taste of better born others and then argues against pride when strutting like a peacock himself". Much hilarity was provoked by the Deacon's barbed remarks as to the vanity of the young Captain and his attempts to portray himself as a man of fashion, although some of the more reserved members were heard to query as to the extent to which this approach addressed the theological points at issue.

By contrast, Captain di Mitelli essayed a most interesting proposal as to how the sin of pride was particularly perilous as one could fall into it merely by being complacent as to one's own piety. He then followed this intriguing point with a witty bon mot as to the surprise of a man who thinking himself a living saint discovers that pride in sanctity can be as perilous to the soul as pride in one's furnishings. Although Deacon Argenti overall had created more laughter with his words, all present agreed that Captain di Mitelli's discourse had given much food for thought and that the theological danger he warned against was a very real one. Accordingly, it was held that Captain di Mitelli had won the debate and many were heard to comment that it reflected well on a young guardsman to have so fine a grasp of moral thought.

The next debate was held at the Largo Argentina where the ancient ruins of the Rome of the past made a picturesque backdrop to a surprisingly rancorous meeting between Deacon de Gregori of the Farnese and the young artist Marco Armani. Quite why these gentlemen have fallen to disagreement is unclear to me, and some may question if mere perversity moves them. It is not, however, for me to judge such matters.

The question at hand was whether Sig. Armani was correct in asserting that it was an act of cowardice to put aside factional rivalries during Carnivale. His initial argument that Deacon de Gregori improperly treated Carnivale as other than mere bacchanal was swiftly rebutted with a remark to the effect that the baseness or otherwise of a holiday in no way spoke to the behaviour traditional to it. This established, the newly ordained cleric proposed that a proper respect for tradition formed the basis of civilised discourse, and was not to be discarded without most pressing cause. Faced with this argument and the evident concurral of all present Sig. Armani was forced to concede the day, though the ill glances he cast towards Deacon de Gregori and the evident lack of good will following the resolution of the debate gave me great concern that they shall be meeting again before long.

Lastly, I attended a more good natured meeting at the Church of St Stephen between Deacon Giovanni Speranza of the Farnese and Deacon Pennacini of the Sforza, due to represent their respective factions. The question at issue was whether, on the parting of the Red Sea, Moses opened a separate path for each tribe or one path through the sea for all.

Each of the two clerics began by sneering somewhat at the other's position, Deacon Speranza considering it ludicrous to imagine that the Lord would force the Israelites to walk separately as if they could not tolerate the sight of their own brethren and Deacon Pennacini commenting that to open one path or many was as one to the Lord and that scripture was clear on the matter.

The scripture in question was Psalms 136:13 in which it is stated that the Lord "Divided the Sea in Parts". Deacon Speranza proposed that parts meant a plurality, two parts were a sufficient plurality and that a single dividing for the entirety of the tribes sufficed to explain the holy writ. By contrast, Deacon Pennacini offered an amusing bon mot comparing the path of each of the tribes through different parts of the sea to the many ways in which rich merchants could fall into sin, a well aimed jest given that many of those attending the debate were representatives of the merchant families of the district. Indeed, even Deacon Speranza was seen to laugh at this witticism. Those present agreed that, although Deacon Pennacini had spoken well, Deacon Speranza's points were well put. This being so the question of the tribes' progress was left unsettled and it was decided that the men had each shown themselves to equally good effect. An honourable draw and one which I was delighted to witness.

Court and Social

It would appear that in Rome there are presently two men of like mind, if not demeanour.

One, the son of a peasant, is an aspiring artist. The other is a fine musician, already welcomed in the distinguished corridors of the Collegio Romano.

What is it that should bring them together?

Firstly, the security afforded by Sig. Rospigliosi. Perhaps it was to be expected that in this matter, at least, the gentleman would be the one to succeed.

A more significant prize, however, was the guidance and influence of Claudia. As regular readers of this journal will know, Claudia has a remarkable ability to identify Rome's rising stars. Her insights are said to have discreetly guided several senior clerics away from potentially embarrassing courses of action. Certainly the benefit to be gained from receiving her confidence is not one to be underestimated.

Thus it was that Marco Armani and Domenico Facente came to meet at the doorstep of the redoubtable Claudia. Sig. Armani, having lost out on the patronage, no doubt sought to claim this one victory. Sig. Facente, whether buoyed by having gained the favour of Sig. Rospigliosi or as a result of his having been accepted into the Collegio Romano, had no intention of stepping aside.

A full hour passed in which neither man yielded ground, throughout the whole of which Marco Armani glared at his rival. Domenico Facente, meanwhile, began to sing softly.

Eventually, the door of the house opened. A manservant wearing a seasoned smile first looked over one, then the other. "Gentlemen," he began, "Perhaps when you have determined who is more worthy of my lady's tutelage, that man shall return. Meanwhile, I am instructed to inform you that my lady is not receiving guests today."

Who will return? Unless Claudia herself should inform us otherwise, it now appears that we shall not know before the start of next month.

Around the Markets

Again the merchants' quarter has been busy this month. The two most profitable trading activities this month have been the provision of fine foods and the supply of regalia for Carnevale.

Early in the month, Lucio Malvezzo, he of the "I want your finest glass - at any price", was observed ordering inordinate quantities of feathers for delivery to his lodgings. Unlike the glass, however, it was not the quality, but the colour which most interested the young Venetian.

Seen in the jewellers' quarter at much the same time were Captain di Miteli and Deacon de Gregori. Clearly the young Captain's enthusiasm for his appearance in his new uniform is undiminished, for he has now added to that uniform a fine pair of fur-trimmed gloves and fancy, tooled belt with a large, gaudy buckle for hanging his much-prized sword. It comes as some relief, therefore, to report that Deacon de Argenti's choice of jewellery for Francesca was a more measured affair, being comprised of a woven gold collar with abalone pearls.

Domenico Facente is already a familiar face in the artisans' shops which may be found in the warren of alleys behind the Largo Argentina. Almost daily he, or his servant, Marco, seek fresh supplies of fine vellum and parchment upon which Domenico continues to seek to refine his understanding of contrapuntal technique. Indeed, we estimate that he may have used over 100 sheets in the past month alone.

Yet even the most disciplined of men must eat. Drink, perhaps not, for Domenico has resolved to abstain from wine for Lent. So, to distract himself from the lack of wine, he has found a new pastry chef, a Spaniard. Thus, to his usual deliveries of fish, squid and dairy are added sweet Spanish delicacies.

However, the delicacies presently favoured by Sig. Facente are as nothing when compared to the lavish tasts of Deacon Zanotti. For the Deacon, only the finest wines and most delectable of foods will do. He has given it to be understood that any merchant attempting to provide any inferior produce will be deemed to have made the entire delivery to the Deacon without charge. This remarkable penalty must be having the desired effect, for there have been no complaints to date.

Subdeacon Gagliardi has engaged his own personal chef. Not content merely to dine at home, he and his chef have been observed visiting some of the finest restaurants which Rome has to offer. Given the reputation as an exemplary party host which the Subdeacon has already established for himself, we cannot but hope that in the course of their visits they will be inspired to create further menus for future events.

In addition to the exquisite meals which he has been sampling, Subdeacon Gagliardi has engaged his own personal wine consultant. When asked to comment, he wryly observed that, "Just as others have library consultants for their books, so I choose to seek the expert advice of another upon building a vinous library. Just as others may share their manuscripts with their friends, I find it enjoyable to share my wine with mine."

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Councillor to the Pope

Upcoming Debates

AdM v. BG (Factional Rivalries)
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Carnevale

Gentle readers, Illuminati of fair Roma, your humble correspondent is pleased to relate a marvellous gathering which took place this past month. Now that we are in the bosom of Lenten reflection, we turn our thoughts heavenward and away from levity, but still we may recall those joyous preparations that concluded ere this solemn time began. As I am charged to report to the Court of His Sublime and Most Holy Reverence, whenever the clerics and social luminaries of the city gather, so I shall share a part of what shall regale the Court.

In keeping with the season and the sensibilities of Roma, Rinaldo Leonardo Amadeo de'Gregori, lately of Florence, hosted a Carnevale celebration at the beginning of the month past, and what a celebration! It is sure to be the talk of the neighbourhoods around the Esquiline, whether by those sad that they missed the gathering, or those scandalised by it, and therefore doubly sad that they missed it

The Esquiline's banqueting facilities and its private rooms had been set aside for the event, so that, once the guests were admitted and the doors closed, the attendees could enjoy privacy for their revels.

Warned to expect a full evening and night's entertainment, and invited also for a welcome and supper, guests began to arrive in their costumes in the late afternoon. Some few, including some of the neighbourhood indigents of no particular consequence, arrived in the traditional bautta, which is prized by man and woman alike for its concealment which yet allows one to eat, or to employ the mouth in the whispering of sweetnesses, or in the surreptitious biso. Only a few women there were, who decided to employ the moretta, whose air of dark mystery is somewhat offset by having to hold its mask in place with a button held in the teeth.

However, several of the guests arrived for the Parade of Costumes in such panoply that it was obvious that they had given especial care and thought to their preparations. In the tradition of Carnevale, I shall not pair the guests with their semblances, though the names of the attendees will be mentioned later. Doubtless, they can choose to confide in each other at some later time.

One arrival was so stark in his portrayal, eschewing the usual rich or riotous colours, that he in fact looked most impressive. He came garbed as a crow, with a large, beaked black mask. Shirt, pantaloons and boots were likewise black, as was a most impressive cape of feathers.

One striking couple arrived costumed in a way that immediately suggested Venezia. The man was caparisoned as a gondola, with his mask taking the form of the beaked prow of that vessel. Ingenious! His lady accomplice was most fetchingly turned out in tight hose, shirt and tunic, as his gondolier, steering and singing him through the party to talk to the more interesting folk present.

Attending Signor de'Gregori's party were also none other than the Emperor and Empress of China, resplendent in storms and rainbows of beautifully patterned silks. Their masks showed the elegant, if odd, lines of the inscrutable oriental. Before the evening was through, the High Chinee, extolling the virtues of our occidental grape, ordered, from the Esquiline, samples of his favourite vintages for everyone present.

Another bird theme was presented, but hardly a sombre one. The Cockerel Bard paid a visit, with a beautifully hideous mask-face and mantlet and hood split to form his gaping bill. Although his musical skills were hardly of the finest, they drew attention to his barbed verse. There was much applause, even occasionally by the apparent targets of his barbs, for the spirit of Carnevale is good humour, and not offence. The Bard was something of a mummer, also, for he mimicked the gait of some of the targets of his venom. At one point he preened in his imaginary new deacon's vestments. One cannot think that he was slighting the host, but even if so Signor Rinaldo seemed to enjoy it immensely. He sang the following ditty, to a tune that left your reporter thinking of nothing so much as citrus fruit, for some odd reason.

"Raphael Argenti, he's a Borgia cognoscenti. Vincenzo Zanotti, Chigi and rather haughty. Alberto di Miteli, Ludovisi and smelly. Giovanni Speranza, Farnese, organza. Marco Pennacini, Sforza and a meanie. You must have a faction to avoid all detraction. The rest in obscurity, are damned in perpetuity."

If the guests had any difficulties following his allusions, they were soon multiplied, for the bird was seen repeatedly dipping its beak into the vintages and became quite incoherent before long. He seemed to be rather attentive during the late night entertainments, however.

One guest cut a noble swath through the crowd, dressed as a lion with angel like wings to honour his heritage. A clue for some, for the symbol of Venezia, the pinnacle of Carnevale, is well known.

The host and hostess, seemingly determined to be the height of propriety and taste for the evening, were garbed in classic fashion. Signor Rinaldo's bautta had an exquisite face of beaten silver over cardboard, its expression one of serene, detached contemplation, with a hint of sadness. This was framed in silk. As usual, it could be taken off and hung on the right ear. Added to this was a lace cape and a pointed beard. Surmounting these was the black hat with three points, the "tricorno". Over his dark coat was a red cloak made of silk, the "tabarro". The costume was decorated with gold and porcelain ornaments. His companion was an angel, presumably crying for mankind's sins, garbed in layers of gauze and silk. Her face was an ingenious and artistic gilded and painted cloth mask, golden, with eyes of celestial blue, from which trickled glittering tears. These last were accomplished with flecks of glass attached with glaire, the adhesive of the illuminator. Her wings were made of hundreds of stiffened white linen feathers, and were actually a cloak split down the middle to give the desired effect.

Before the dinner, a delightful puppet-show was held, featuring the ever-popular Arlecchino and his Columbine. The guests were given to understand that puppet making and puppetry are among the artistic talents of their host, who lays no great claim to musical ability. The puppeteers hired were expert, able to extract even the most subtle nuances of emotion from their inanimate actors.

There followed dinner for the assemblage, and Signor de'Gregori's Tuscan origins were much evidenced. The first remove was a ribollita of vegetables, centred about the noble bean. This was followed by slices of duck, grilled over vine embers and charcoal. The third remove was comprised of little samplings of finocchiona (fennel salami), surrounded by marinated mushrooms. Counterpointing this, there followed another soup, one that has only recently been introduced, a cinestrata. The sweetness of the marsala, cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar were very popular. To finish, the next two removes were a traditional Florentine steak and, to recover the palates of the guests at the end, a selection of preserved and sugared fruits, interspersed with segments of the last winter apples. A variety of wines were sampled throughout, with the inevitable, but no less appreciated Chianti, of various hues, accompanying the meat dishes.

Of course, dinner was accompanied by music hired for the occasion, and there was much lively social intercourse throughout the evening.

The host and his hostess companion, the lovely Francesca, were resplendent in their own costumes, and carefully assured that the guests' needs were all attended. Then, something unexpected happened.

They excused themselves while the night was still young, bidding the guests to make themselves free of the rooms and refreshments, while awaiting the next entertainment. Signor Rinaldo, indicating that "his tender sensibilities would not allow him to be present should ribaldry or frivolousness break out", drew a mixture of amused observations and knowing pronouncements from the guests. It is rumoured that in Florence, signor de'Gregori was known for the enthusiasm of his participation in Carnevale.

Some few, indicating that they had other fests to attend, or had not the temperament for the late-night sort of Carnevale pastimes, also excused themselves. The general opinion of those who stayed was, that those who quit the rooms would rue it later.

Shortly after the departure of the host and hostess there entered a pair of what must have been Comedia players of high quality, a man and a woman. The man, masked, of course, was clad in leggings of fur and ingenious shoes, his bare chest bedaubed with golden paint. A fringe of beard and a pair of horns adorned his head. The woman, or woman it appeared, was heavily enrobed in rich garments and adorned with a cap from under which the wan, silvery mask depicted a stern countenance.

"Behold," she announced with stern mien and feigning the lower timbre of a man, "the triumph of the Church over the pagan and profane", and began to beat the satyr about the room, much to the amusement of the assemblage. The mummery ended by the Church "man" riding the satyr triumphantly behind a screen of the salon, from which his despairing bleating faded.

There followed an amazing turnabout, as evidenced by much rustling and casting up and down of cloths and ribbands and rope and what not, and then, from behind the screen, issued forth the players as gnaga, for the places had been exchanged. The male mummer now portrayed the Churchman in all his awesome wrath, and his accomplice, some men of the gathering were heard to remark thereafter, made a far better satyr or nymph of the wood, than had he. In fact, the description of the woman at that point is a bit vague. The men were mostly concerned with assuring themselves, by close inspection, as the priest beat her about the room, that her paint had been properly applied. Those who were willing to comment indicated that they were well, well pleased, and that she had an excellent pair of horns. I am sure it was horns. As may well be imagined, there was a round of applause when the victor chased the beast behind the screen, from whence once more issued the sounds of its despair, or something similar.

The two made to depart, but no few of the guests begged them for another rendition. Putting a finger alongside the elongated nose of her mask, the "satyr" bade them await. Wine was served.

Some few minutes later, there entered a rich townswoman, dressed in fine lace and velvet, her gloved hands bearing a switch, her mask a beauteous but cold face of blue and white, with frostlike hair. Following her was a poor peasant, who begged for alms. To the calls of "Shame, shame" from the partiers, she beat the poor man away. "Off, filthy one, a plague upon you" she called out, throwing her switch after him, and turned away. While her back was turned, so turned the "peasant" his clothing inside out, to reveal a black cassock. Picking up her switch, he paused a moment behind the screen and then re-emerged with vulture mask of Il Medico dea Peaste, the plague doctor, bearing his staff of inspection, formerly her switch. There were calls of glee from those who had any knowledge of Carnevale, for they knew what was coming.

"Plague," he called to her, "I heard of plague. Is it you?" "No, no," she protested, "I am rich; I am clean." "Yes, yes," called the partiers who remained, "see for yourself."

With that he did, chasing the haughty and pitiless woman about, using his staff to avoid contact with her possibly infested clothing, as he made every effort to expose whatever blemishes and lesions she might have. As the ungenerous woman fled the room, the mummer bowed to the laughing audience and declaimed, with a feigned accent of peasantry, "So let the moral of our tale be well remembered: charity is a grace, and so let grace be tendered."

To applause the two quit the room.

While refreshments were being served once more, the host and hostess entered, and made great inquiry of the guests if aught of less than high moral and learned quality had occurred. Being assured that there had been but a pair of morality plays, the one about the Church's continual victory over the forces of evil, and the other regarding the noble virtue of charity, the two seemed much relieved.

"You may be sure," admonished de'Gregori, "that at future revels, after we have had the blessed interlude of Lent to reflect upon heavenly virtues and earthly shortcomings, such lessons will not be absent."

Some of the guests remarked that they were eager to study assiduously.

To sound another note, there are some debates arising out of meetings at the gathering. Although, as I said, I will not pair part and party, present were Alberto di Miteli and Bartolomeo Gagliardi, who found time to exchange quips regarding the shortcomings of each other's factions. Elena, another attendee, will of course hope for Bartolomeo's victory. Giovanni Speranza and the host Signor de'Gregori, who had but recently joined the Farnese, both have debates due next month with Marco Vicenzo Penaccini, who seems intent on garnering a name for himself as a seeker of oratorical notoriety. Monica, who had arrived with Giovanni, and Francesca, the two Farnese's companions of the court, will look on in admiration. Present, but without a forthcoming argument by the end of the evening, was Lucio Malvezzo, notably without Anna.