The Vatican Observer
May 1514

Men of Steel

His Holiness' most trusted Swiss Guards have accepted the application of Signor Guido Vitale, of the well known family Vitale. This fine gentleman impressed the Colonel with his bearing and mental acuity such that he was immediately granted the vacancy existing for a Captain. This is a position of such responsibility that it has been sought by many, yet attained by few.

Directly after receiving his commission and donning his uniform, Captain Vitale made overtures to members of the Barberini Faction. Finding him most favourable, both for his prestige and his proximity to Pope Leo, the Barberini saw the wisdom in such an association and accepted the new Captain.

The Faithful may rest much more easily with the knowledge that the Pontiff his protected by men such as Captain di Miteli and Captain Vitale.

Discourses

This month sees but one meeting between men of wit, and that an all too brief one. A small consolation for connoisseurs of learned debate and skilled repartee is that those involved are at least likely to continue to grace these pages and provide us with some material worthy of coverage.

Once again, Deacon Gagliardi and Captain di Mitelli met as custom demands and in accordance with the rivalries of their respective factions, the Borgia and the Ludovisi.

The subject at hand on this occasion was whether contemplation of the human form is sinful in itself or only when accompanied by impure thoughts. Although one might well expect Captain di Mitelli to have more knowledge of this topic than a godly priest such as Deacon Gagliardi, the men were seen as they approached their chosen debating ground to be laughing together as they discussed the merits of the different parts of the divine form one could gainfully contemplate. Once ensconced in the salon at which their meeting was due to take place, they ordered wine and spent no small time in discussing vintages and appropriate accompaniments.

Once finally ready, the two men conducted a curious ceremony in which Deacon Gagliardi threw a ducat in the air while Captain di Mitelli attempted to guess which face would lie uppermost once it fell to earth. Guessing incorrectly, he appeared chagrined when the unusually red faced Deacon Gagliardi jovially informed him that it was for the Captain to argue innate sinfulness. The Captain appeared to give the matter thought for a moment, mulling over arguments perhaps. As those observing grew restive the Captain finally proposed that if such contemplation were not innately sinful it would not be so perilous, for any could see that where one began by contemplating the form for its artistic merits it was not long before one's mind wandered to other, less rarefied, concerns. That this was perilous could be seen in the fact that some churchmen to judge from their conversation did little but indulge in such contemplation when they were not busy rearranging their cellars or filling their bellies.

Deacon Gagliardi, on hearing this argument, reacted with such force that he fell from his stool and lay in most undignified fashion on the floor. Although at first it was feared by many that he had become prey to some form of fit, on further investigation it was discovered that he was so stricken with mirth that he was quite unable to keep his seating. The Deacon was heard to call out that he would see his friend, the Captain, at Domenico Facente's party later that month and that this month the drinks were to his account as he was quite unable to answer the point.

A curious affair, and one not perhaps entirely becoming to the dignity of Deacon Gagliardi's estate or the offices of the Swiss Guard. Still, if all such disputes were settled with such camaraderie there would be less discord abroad and in that at least I am confident both men would agree.

Around the Markets

Due to the number of prominent clerics on the current mission, it has been a quiet month around the markets.

Taking full advantage of this reduction in demand has been Lucio Malvezzo. Ever unwilling to compromise upon the quality of his materials, he has contracted some remarkable bargains, although at the price of less cordial relations with certain of his suppliers.

Another stalwart seen in the area, although a somewhat more freely-spending one, was Domenico Facente. The musician continues to purchase considerable quantities of vellum, ink, quills and candles. Neighbours have suggested that S. Facente may be about to submit a further composition which he has been preparing for the Collegio Romano. However, such reports remain unconfirmed at this time.

A relative newcomer, Guido Vitale, spent some time acquainting himself with the merchants of the city. Having done so, he returned to Via del Governo Vecchio to order a modest selection of wines and food. Bassetti e Figli, no doubt delighted at gaining such a prominent customer, were nonetheless unwilling to depart from their policy of requiring full payment before delivery. Happily, as soon as their new patron had secured the requisite coinage, the order was dispatched without further delay.

Finally, Deacon Gagliardi's presence in the quarter remained ever prominent. The good Deacon's fancies this month included jewellery and copious quantities of wine, both of which were rapidly disposed of during the course of a ribald poetry competition which he hosted for a number of his theatrical companions. By contrast, he accomplished something of greater longevity through his donation to the choir of San Francesco. It is understood that the scale of the donation made is such that this rather unfashionable chapel in the Testaccio district will be able to acquire the new organ which it so dearly needs.

Companionship and Conversation

In the Eternal City, many things are as they have always been, like ancient anchors for the world. Such is the analogy for Man's need for Companionship, dearest readers. Allow me to give you one example: You are, no doubt, familiar with that rising star in Roma, Vincenzo Zanotti? Vincenzo, recently ordained a Priest, is a well-known and respected Chigi partisan who many eyes will be watching in coming months. Vincenzo is notable for many things, but one thing in particular is his fast friendship with Sandra Vesperelli. Sandra, a woman of wit and learning, has been a stable voice at the Court for years. Many can testify to the wisdom of her advice--and its obvious fruit in the Cardinals who name her as an influence and muse in their rise!

In recent weeks, it seems the new priest Zanotti has been taking her advice on many matters--in fact, she seems to have become his personal oracle! He spent every week of May except the second at Sandra's residence, enrapt in erudite discussion, a source tells me. And what of the second week? Fr. Zanotti attended the event hosted by Domenico Facente, as it was rumoured he would--and with Sandra, making them an inseparable pair for the month!

The moral of the story dear reader? Even in the consecrated life, friends, little is as strong as the need for a solid companion to guide one's way.

Pace!

Men of the Cloth

In Roma Priest N. Sextus, a venerable member of the Chigi Faction who has long suffered from the maladies of old age, will be retiring to a monastery near Ostia. The good Padre will be replaced by Deacon V. Zanotti, a dynamic young man in whom the Chigi have great confidence.

The mission to the Court of France has once again met with mixed results. Many rumours abound in the Vatican that members of the Delegation have been seduced by the pleasures of the French Court and have become lax in their duties.

Cardinal Encinque did manage to effect a reasonable conclusion in spite of the bungling of the Alliance Leader Patriarch Entre. The Patriarch has been recalled, and there is little doubt that he shall not be entrusted with such an important position in future.

Much fault was found with the efforts of the Papal Scholars. Bishop Entre was reasonably well prepared, but both Priests EnQuinque and EnQuattor were so poorly acquainted with the materials that they were summarily dismissed. Canon EnSeis was, however, the epitome of what is demanded by one who seeks a position among the elite.

His research of canon law pertinent to the proceedings was outstanding. In this effort he was assisted by the lay cleric Marco Armani. The latter gentleman performing his duties so well that he was presented with a large bolt of fine silk for his efforts. Both Deacons EnSix and EnSex were elevated to the priesthood for their work.

The fate of the Missionary Faction was most distressing. Bishop EnTres, Canon EnQuatro, and Deacon EnFor were utterly humiliated by the "Philosopher Comte" who disparaged each point of their collective position. All of the above will be sent to positions where they will not injure the Pope's cause. Much talk has been heard of the missions to New Spain regarding the fate of these unfortunates.

Priests EnFour and EnSix prevailed, ably assisted by Deacon Penaccini and the lay cleric Stefano Zanetti. Both of the latter men formulated a cogent argument based on humanist philosophy and theological principles which proved telling. For their efforts the good Deacon was given a small gold ring and Signor Zanetti received a silver brooch.

But, by far the most notable demonstration of oratory skill was the declaration of Priest de Gregori of the Farnese. The forcefulness of his speech and the irrevocable logic of his progression from point to point silenced the French, and brought murmurs of approval from the other members of the Delegation. The Farnese are justly proud of their representative. Priest de Gregori was given a chest of the finest spices from the Indies.

Although these negotiations have been difficult, they have separated the wheat from the chaff, and the truly talented men have shown themselves worthy of the Pope's confidence.

Signor Facente Celebrates

While some may distinguish themselves in Oratory, others in Debate and yet others in pious service in the missions, surely we must also admire those who seek to glorify God with the wonderful creations of instrument and voice. How much more so, when such talented persons do not merely become recluses and hide their light under a basket, but also serve as foci for the social circles of Roma.

And so, once again, the Esquiline was the site of a function hosted by Signor Domenico Facente, the noted composer and singer, and the lady Claudia, known to be both an excellent hostess and well familiar with the goings-on in the Papal Court.

Attending the natal celebration for Signor Facente were Ludovisi Swiss Guard Captain Alberto di Miteli, Borgia Deacon Bartolomeo Gagliardi and Elena, Signor Lucio Malvezzo and Anna, Captain Guido Vitale of the Barberini, Priest Vicenzo Zanotti of the Chigi and Sandra.

A fine quartet, selected by the host, provided entertainment during the meal and a musical backdrop for later dancing. Moreover, despite a well-laid table and a profusion of potables, no-one gave way to drunkenness.

It should be noted that Captain di Miteli and Deacon Gagliardi seem to be using these gatherings as veritable excuses to hone their debating skills, for the two still seem quite convivial despite repeated debates. One hopes that the amity will continue, as long as their respective factions allow it. We shall see what topic they will debate next month. Additionally to that debate, Captain Vitale and Priest Zanotti of the Chigi will have a chance to represent their factions next month. Let us see if they transpire to be another pair of amici, or whether they view their rivalries more gravely.

It is by now well known that the voice of the host is something of a miracle parable: if one catches him in discourse in a language other than Latin, the devil has been permitted to catch Signor Facente's tongue, in an attempt to ridicule him. However, with the Lord's aid, Signor Facente has risen above this and defeated the Enemy with great spirit and grace, for your correspondent has rarely heard better Latin, and when Signor Facente sings, it is a great pleasure for all. On that point, his guests did not allow him to remain silent, and so he accompanied his hired quartet on a few occasions, to the delight of all.

Featured at the table were zuppa di pesce, pasta alla napolitana, arrosto di manzo, insalata, Torta di Alvaro, fig and date pastries, cheese and fruit and wines with each course. While the host is known to have been absolutely scrupulous in his Lenten and holy observances, it is good to report that he has never been less than assiduous in seeing to his guests' pleasures and comforts.

Bravo Signor Facente!

Positions Vacant

Papal Commissioner for Archaeology
Papal Mathematician
Curator of the Papal Library
Master of the Papal Chapel

Upcoming Debates

AdM v. BG (Factional Rivalries)
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